Top 3 Things to Do When a Narcissist Discards You

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: When you’re with a narcissist, you are always vulnerable to them leaving you for another supply source, or when you’re no longer useful for their purposes.

We seem to be in shock when they disappear without a trace.

We wonder what WE did wrong.

We may start retracing our every action to see where WE caused a dissention.

The mistake we make is turning the blame toward ourselves. That’s not to say we didn’t make mistakes or took a few missteps. But with a narcissist, more often than not, WE didn’t do anything – they’re simply done with us.

They also could have secured another supply source that they “need” to accomplish their goals. Someone who will hang on their every word and someone they can impress.

But take solace in the fact that once the narcissist gets what they want from the new supply source, and the newness wears off, they’ll do the same thing to them. They can’t help themselves – it’s who they are at their core.

I’ve found there are 3 top things to do when a narcissist discards you.

#1. Realize it’s not you, it’s THEM! You can do everything right. You can be as sweet as pie. You can be theeee perfect supply source. They are a narcissist and they will act like a narcissist.

#2. Dust yourself off and keep steppin’. When you’re with a narcissist for an extended length of time, you will lose yourself. They will make you feel crazy. Remember the classic movie with Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman called Gaslight? He systematically isolated her and manipulated her emotions through psychological warfare until she was convinced she was going insane. When a narcissist discards you, go on a rampage to find yourself again. Participate in activities you used to enjoy. If they hated cruises, go on a solo cruise and book the best cabin. Reclaim the lost parts of yourself! Make new friends. Take a dance class. Take up a new hobby.

# 3. Remember! In the end, you’re the fortunate one. This is your greatest blessing. You may miss them at times, you may unexpectedly come across old photos of you two together looking like a happy couple, you may even dream about them on occasion. But, REMEMBER! Remember how they made you feel when they engaged you in triangulation with other women (or men). Remember how they picked at everything you said and did. Remember when your life revolved around everything THEY wanted to do. You’re free now!

If you’ve been discarded by a narcissist, don’t walk through it alone. Talk to a trusted, non-judgmental friend, talk to a therapist/counselor. Do the healing work so you don’t bring unresolved issues, including bitterness or unforgiveness, into your next relationship.

You’ve been set free! Glory in that freedom!