Confessions of an Empath

Let me just go ahead and say it: being an empath is beautiful… and also wildly inconvenient.

There, I said it.

That’s why this blog is titled Confessions of An Empath – I speak for myself and I often tell people that I make the perfect empath for narcissists. They love me. Or I should say they love the supply I give. As time has passed though, I’ve learned a thing or two and it has made all the difference. Keep reading…it gets better.

We are the feelers. The fixers. The “are you okay?” texters. We can walk into a room and immediately sense tension like it’s a second language. We cry during commercials. We root for the underdog. We love hard, forgive often, and sometimes… ignore red flags like they’re decorative throw pillows.

And if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably found yourself tangled up in a narcissistic relationship at least once (or, let’s be honest, more than once). Not because you’re weak. Not because you’re naive. But because your strengths, the very things that make you you, can also make you a magnet for narcissistic personalities.

Yes, they can sniff us out from a mile away. It’s practically a sixth sense.

The Good, The Beautiful, and the “Uh-Oh”

Let’s start with the good, because being an empath is not a flaw. It’s a gift.

What makes us amazing as empaths:

• We are deeply compassionate. We don’t just hear people—we feel them.
• We are nurturing by nature. Taking care of others feels natural, not forced.
• We are loyal. Once we love you, we are in your corner for real.
• We are intuitive. We pick up on energy, tone shifts, and unspoken emotions.
• We are forgiving. We believe in growth, second chances, and redemption arcs.

These are the classic empath traits people admire. These are the things that make us incredible partners, friends, and humans.

Now… here’s where things get a little sticky.

How empath traits can lead to toxic relationships:

• Compassion turns into over-excusing bad behavior. (“They’ve just been through a lot…”)
• Nurturing becomes over-giving. We pour until we’re empty.
• Loyalty becomes staying too long. We don’t quit, even when we should.
• Intuition gets overridden. We feel something’s off but talk ourselves out of it.
• Forgiveness turns into a revolving door. Same behavior, different day.

And this is exactly where narcissists and empaths collide in the unhealthiest ways.

They love the empathy buffet. Unlimited supply, no boundaries, and a built-in willingness to understand them no matter what they do. It’s like handing someone your heart and saying, “Please be careful,” while they’re already juggling knives.

Why Narcissists and Empaths Are Drawn to Each Other

Here’s the dynamic, plain and simple:
Empaths give. Narcissists take.

This is the core of the empath and narcissist relationship dynamic.

At first, it can feel magical. They mirror your depth. They make you feel seen. They come on strong, and because you’re wired for connection, you meet them there.

But over time, things shift.

You start explaining their behavior to yourself.
You start shrinking to keep the peace.
You start giving more, hoping it will somehow fix what’s broken.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

Because the relationship was never built on mutual emotional exchange. It was built on your capacity to give and their comfort in receiving—one of the most common patterns in toxic relationships involving narcissists.

And if you’re not careful, you’ll wake up one day wondering how you became a supporting character in your own life.

The Wake-Up Call (a.k.a. The “Oh… It’s Not Me” Moment)

At some point, something clicks.

Maybe it’s exhaustion.
Maybe it’s one too many broken promises.
Maybe it’s realizing that no matter how much love you give, it’s never quite enough.

That’s the moment you start recognizing the signs of emotional manipulation and narcissistic abuse.

And no, it’s not easy. Because empaths don’t just walk away—we process, we grieve, we replay conversations like it’s a full-time job.

But we also grow. Deeply.

What Empaths Need to Remember

If this is hitting a little close to home, stay with me. This part matters. And believe me when I say, I’ve lived it, so  I know it’s not theory.

1. Your empathy is not the problem. Your boundaries are the solution.
Learning how to set boundaries as an empath is life changing. You don’t need to harden your heart. You just need to protect it better.

2. Not everyone deserves access to your depth.
Read that again. Access is earned, not freely given just because you can love someone.

3. Pay attention to patterns, not potential.
We are Olympic-level potential spotters. But healthy relationships are built on reality, not who someone could be.

4. Your intuition is not wrong—you just override it.
That gut feeling? It’s one of your greatest strengths as an empath.

5. You are allowed to choose yourself without guilt.
This is a key part of healing from a narcissistic relationship. Choosing peace over chaos is not selfish—it’s necessary.

A Little Encouragement from One Empath to Another

Being an empath means you bring warmth into spaces that might otherwise feel cold. You make people feel safe, seen, and understood. That is rare. That is powerful.

But you were never meant to lose yourself in the process.

You are not here to fix people who refuse to grow.
You are not here to prove your worth through overgiving.
You are not here to stay in places that drain you just because you understand them.

You can be soft and still have standards.
You can be loving and still walk away.
You can care deeply and still say, “This is not for me.”

And when you start doing that—when you truly step into empath self-protection and emotional awareness—everything changes.

Including the kind of people you attract.

Trust me… the right ones won’t require you to abandon yourself to keep them.

And honestly? That’s the kind of love we were built for all along.

Questions for Reflection:

What are three ways you show up as an empath…Every. Single. Time?

Have you “collided” with a narcissist more than once? If so, what was the very first sign that something was off?

In what ways will you commit to not abandoning yourself within your relationships?