What Exactly IS A future Faker?
Katie Couric describes future faking as “…a manipulation tactic employed when a narcissist or toxic person promises to fulfill your desires in the future to get something they want in the present — which is often simply to get off scot-free, delay a commitment, obtain resources, or avoid a conflict.”
Katie, you got it exactly right! As a survivor of a future faker myself, I can genuinely say that you feel duped and disappointed because the future faker made you believe that you really did have a future with them. They start off in grand fashion–they love bomb you much like a narcissist does–except that they have no intention of ever fulfilling any of the promises they’ve made to you.
I hope you don’t read an angry tone into this because I have no feelings of anger. Even though you may feel anger at first, you’ll soon realize that there was no way you could have read the signs because these people are slick and polished. They’ve studied their target and they know the approach they will take.
Very Well Mind describes it like this: “Future faking is basically love-bombing on a grander scale. Narcissists may lure people into a relationship by promising the sun, moon, and stars. The adage “if it’s too good to be true, it probably is” rings true here. Future-fake is about manipulation to get something from you in the now—they aren’t actually thinking about the future.
How to Know If you’re Falling for a Future Faker
Sometimes you just can’t know but it does help to look for a few warning flags:
- Is someone making grandiose promises to you of future trips and “serious” conversations?
- Is someone always telling you when it comes to trips and dinners, “It’s going to be a surprise?”
- Is your women’s intuition speaking to you…danger ahead…be careful? Listen!!
Future fakers can be narcissists or they can be a “stand-alone” operator. Knowing what to look for is 90% of the battle.
